Days & Nights of Natalie: June 2005

My upcoming wedding

I am so (very) thankful for Ronni. She has been a god send. She has been so very helpful with planning my wedding and getting everything together. She has even offered to help make some of the clothes to help save on costs. We have not heard back on Kelly's original groom's outfit. So we are going with Kilts. The really cool thing about this, is that all of the guys can wear their clan's tartan, if they want. Kelly wants to just go to Wal-mart and get a plaid fabric. I have not had the heart to tell him that Wal-mart does not carry the correct kind of fabric for a kilt. He will read that on here. So I am going to see if their are any stores in Houston (or the surrounding area) that carries kilts or tartan material. Plus this is our wedding. I really wish that he gave a damn about it. It really does hurt that he does not care. I have told him, Julie, and Ronni why I enjoy being around Ronni and getting her opinion (and help) right now. She is the only as excited about the wedding as I am. Julie is my matron-of-honor. She has alot going on in her life right now. So it is hard for her to do much with the wedding. Ronni and Betsy are my bride's maids. Betsy lives in Midland, so she is a bit far to do much at this point. She is coming down this way soon and will help us then. I knew that she was in Midland and really was not expecting help from her. I just really wanted for her to be in the wedding. I, also, was not expecting help from Ronni. I was just hoping that she would be in the wedding with us. (Her and her husband, Mike [who is also in the wedding], have been my friends for over 11 years, and Kelly's friends alot longer than that.) So I can not explain how much it has means to me that Ronni has been so helpful. Kelly's best man is Adam. His groom's men are Kenny and Mike. The flower girl is Elisabeta, my daughter. The ring bearer is Ben, Ronni's and Mike's son. The wedding is November 6 at 11:30. It is taking place at the Texas Rennaisance Festival. This is my first and only wedding. Period. It is Kelly's second wedding (and marriage). Everyone has said that his first marriage was doomed from the get-go and they all knew it would not make it. That is sad that everyone has said that. Well I stand corrected. Adam and his wife, Laurie, just don't talk about it. They were friends with both. So they don't just don't say anything about it. I respect that. (I am not feeling well at all, either. No one in the house is feeling well. Even Tiger has a running nose, that has been causing him to get sick.) I have been doing alot of searching and (unfortnately) buying stuff for the wedding. The really scary thing is, I really do love doing it. I love the searching and finding...the knowing that I am doing this for my wedding. I am actually getting married. This is the first time in my life that I am sure I want to marry someone. I want to marry Kelly Hawkins. In less than five months, I will be Mrs. Hawkins. I have been Miss Gruber for thirty years. I am very excited.

I was a boyscout...

Yes, I was once a boyscout. I am not now. (I am 30 years old.) I was in the Explorers, #911. We met in a volunteer fire department, in Alief. The Explorers are part of the boyscouts. Plus, when I was a little girl my parents tried to put me in the girlscouts. The first we went camping, I knew it was not going to work. We went camping in cabins and all of the leaders (and many of the girls) brought their make-up, curling irons, etc. THAT IS NOT CAMPING! THAT IS NOT ROUGHING IT OUT IN THE WILDERNESS! When I got home, I told my parents I did not want to go back. I told them I wanted to join the boyscouts. They told me I couldn't, I wasn't a boy. I was so happy to find out about the Explorers. The funniest thing happened at the Boyscout Convention. The hand out scavenger hunt sheets to the younger boyscouts. One of the requests on this sheet is, "Find a female boyscout and get her to sign this sheet with her troop number." At that point in time, I knew at least twenty female boyscouts that were at the convention. During the day we had tallied up how many times we were each asked to sign the sheets. At the end of the day, I had been asked the most. This was only because of the fact that the dads kept sending them to me. Keep in mind that this was the point in time that I was a size one with a 32DD chest. What was really funny was this one little boy. He walked up to my (guy) friend and asked him how to find a girl boyscout. My friend pointed over to me (and another girl boyscout) and said, "look for the girls in the Explorer shirts like that." The little boy walks up and says, "You are for sure a giirrrlllll boyscout. Your boobies are bigger than my mommy's. Can you sign my paper?" I signed his paper. I could not say a single word and was very bright red. But, I signed his paper. I then went for a long walk outside, with my friend. She, by the way, could not stop laughing at me for at least fifteen minutes straight...and she laughed at (for the rest of the day) any time a boy asked me to sign his sheet. I must admit that I loved being a boyscout. I still love camping and all that cool (guy) stuff.

Wedding site

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/NatalieGruber&KellyHawkins

hello kitty

Kelly is always telling me that I need to publish more of my life stories on my blog. This is hard for me to do. I will try for him, though.

I have asthma and have had it my whole life. One thing I found at an early age was that sleeping with a pillow or stuffed animal under my arm helps me breathe better during the night. This in it self is not really a bad thing...except at summer church camp, as a teenager. I got dogged so bad for having my teddy bear with me. Actually I had two there. One of the bears I used under my arm the other was just very soft and made a great pillow. The kids, from my church, at the Lutheran camp hid the bears from me one day and I freaked. I guess I really need to explain that I was not liked by everyone. I was a year or two older than most of the other kids going through conformation class. On top of that, I was a size 0/1 and 32DD and only 4'11". Some of the other girls just would not give me the chance to think about liking me. I only had one boyfriend at that church. His name was Peter. He very suddenly broke up with me one day and started hanging out with the main girl leading the witch hunt for me. This was shortly before we went to summer camp. It was also right before my birthday. I though she hated me before, you should have seen her the first time she saw me at the pool at camp. I must admit that I did not have the body of a fifteen year old. I had the body of a full grown adult woman, with a great figure. (It has changed quite a bit since then.) She was really out to get me, after seeing me in my bathing suit. She put a scorpion in my bed and another in my bag. Had the boys hide my bears from me. She pored out all of my shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. (Two can play at that game.) Thankfully, I am a much nicer person and befriended many of the other girls, from other churches, who let me use their care goods. While she could not get anyone to let her share. Karma. However, by the end of the two weeks, I had made many new friends and really did not let her get to me. She did not make really make any new friends. No one wanted to be around her, except Peter. The funny thing about all of this is that I still wanted to go back the next year. The camp itself (and God) made we love it and want to go back. I still have never seen the sky that clear at night. The really funny thing is that at that same time frame Kelly and his family were attending the same Lutheran Church I was. We did not know this until about two months (or so) ago. Okay time to go to bed.

Kelly

I can not express in words how I feel about him...

Can wait to wake up in the morning to see him...to kiss and hold him. I am excited when I hear my phone ring with his special ring. I wait for him to get off from work so that I can pick him up and get that "hello" kiss. When he and I are apart, I long for his gentle caress. The way he embrasses me in his arms makes me feel such love, comfort, peace, and pure happiness. He makes me feel like a