From my Aunt Carol

W.I.C.O.E. (Women In Charge Of Everything) is proud to announce the opening of its EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN.

OPEN TO MEN ONLY
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS -- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available

From my Meme (Grandmother)

"How men can live longer"

THE HORMONE WARNING: The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!



DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate



DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate



DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate



DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate



DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.



13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect


Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate sings. Men are like a fine wine...They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


"The Blonde and The Lord"

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. .

Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"

The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK"


"How to install a Redneck Security System"

How to install a redneck wireless security system:

1) Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.

2) Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.

3) Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.

4) Leave a note on your front door that says something like: "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammo - back in 15 minutes. Don't disturb the Pitbulls, they've just been wormed and are mad as hell..." Signed, Billy Bob.

pictures of things

what kind of Hello Kitty are you?

very fucked.


what fucked version of hello kittie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

serenity

Your results:
You are River (Stowaway)

River (Stowaway) 75% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 70% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 70% Alliance 70% A Reaver (Cannibal) 60% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 55% Wash (Ship Pilot) 55% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 55% Inara Serra (Companion) 50% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 50% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 40%

Even though you may have some personality problems, (most likely due to being too smart and/or from experiments done on you), you are extremely talented and loved. ZOE WASHBURNE Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...

Kelly did it first...

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman 90% Hulk 80% Wonder Woman 75% Batman 70% Supergirl 70% The Flash 70% Spider-Man 65% Green Lantern 65% Robin 60% Iron Man 45% Superman 35%

You have had a tough childhood, you know how to be a thief and exploit others but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

real conversation

man says:
howdy stranger.

celtic gypsy night says:
hi there

man says:
you still in conroe?

celtic gypsy night says:
nope in Houston since April

man says:
ahhh... cool... i just moved back to Conroe...

celtic gypsy night says:
my husband lived in Houston and works here...so Elle and I moved here

man says:
that's cool... seeing anyone?

celtic gypsy night says:
my husband

celtic gypsy night says:
I got married November 6

man says:
wow... that's cool! congrats!

End of conversation.



some of the responses I got to this conversation...

...He not only has a horrible name but he's a moron. :) (female)

...OK, That is f****** funny!! (male)

...lol This is classic. (male)

...men are so smart, aren't they? :) (female)

...That is so funny ~ like duh (female)

...Too funny! (my husband)

...he was trying to get him some! (male)

...that guy just wanted a piece of ass, and we all know it. (male)

my bestest friends...(missing Kelly & Julie)

My red-headed husband

One of my long-time friends told me that every time she hears "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns n' Roses, she thinks of me. I had a HUGH crush on Axel Rose, and his hair. I never realized how much I am in love with red hair, until my husband told me that he is never growing his out again. hbgfh*Ggf%jJ5kfjshuh(Y%&$YHuy895ttG&*TY&*R
So here are a couple of pictures of his red hair, and him.
I love you, Honey.

(How do we get Elle to stop calling you Honey?)

Ponder these (from Ronni)

As the New Year dawns, here are a few points to ponder:


Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents?

Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Francis R. Scobee (2), Commander
Michael J. Smith (1), Pilot
Judith A. Resnik (2), Mission Specialist 1
Ellison S. Onizuka (2), Mission Specialist 2
Ronald E. McNair (2), Mission Specialist 3
Gregory B. Jarvis (1), Payload Specialist 1
Sharon Christa McAuliffe (1), Payload Specialist 2 (TISP)

Saturday, January 28th is the 20th anniversary of the Challenger accident. The mission was primarily an educational forum for students all over the world and to study Halley's Comet. The families of the astronauts did not want a stone memorial somewhere to represent their loved ones and with that the very first Challenger Learning Center was created at the Houston Museum of Natural Science in 1988. The HMNS Challenger Center is a place for adventurers of all ages to experience a small sampling of a mission into space.
On Saturday, January 28, the Museum will be hosting Family Missions to Mars at 10:00, 11:30, and 1:00. We need excited individuals (ages 8 and up) to fly our ship, the SS Legacy, to the Red Planet to conduct experiments, build satellites and study Mars along the way.
For more information or to accept your mission, call 713-639-4629. Give the representative code FMM and select a mission time. If you have questions about the mission email Apollo@hmns.org for more details.

The Houston Museum of Natural Science
One Hermann Circle Drive, Houston, TX 77030
Information/Tickets: (713) 639-4629
en español: (713) 639-4603 | TDD service: (713) 639-4687


We are memebers of the The Houston Museum of Natural Science. Unfornately, Elisabeta is five years too young to attend this adventure. For those that are old enough, this would be a blast...flying to Mars. I remember when the Challenger blew up. I was in fifth grade. We were at lunch when it actually happened. The teachers were recording it, though, so that we could watch the lift off of the first teacher in space. When the Challenger blew up, they were not sure if they should show us. The came in to the lunch room and told us what happened. They then asked us if we still wanted to watch it. We did. We were 10 and 11. Most of us had not faced death before and could not imagine what really happened. The teachers lead us (the students) into the fifth grade area, where we watched the video. I was sitting next to Sarbani Guha and Debra Schmid. We all cried. I don't remembr who it was, but I cried on someone's shoulder and we hugged crying.
Years later, I found out that my favorite (school) teacher (Mrs. Glasgow) was in the top ten to go up in the Challenger mission. I think about that and wonder. If Mrs. Sharon Glasgow had been the one to go up in the Challenger, I wound never had her as a teacher. She was the one who changed my life. I actually wanted to learn and be part of something. I learned that I love learning because of her. I joined the Literary Magazine, B.A.D. (Bears Against Drugs), Theatre Club (A. H. Players), Christian Fellowship, and all of the other clubs. (I only showed up for pictures in the 1992 - 1993 year. Scott talked me into showing up for them.) Mrs. Glasgow changed my life. If she had been the one that went up on that day, she would never had that chance. Mrs. Glasgow was my teacher in 7th and 10th grades. (The same year I started high school she transfered to my high school.)

memories

Listening to this reminds me of high school...sneaking out and going over to Les's house. We would stay up listening to this album (and some others), drinking hot cokes & sprites, eating lucky charms, and looking at thousands of baseball cards. Wow. Those are some good memories.
I would ever so carefully climb out my window or walk through the house, out the door to the garage, and then out the side door to the outside. I would run down my street, so no one would catch me. I would walk (in the shadows) down Wilcrest, to the bayou, where I would walk along the bed. It was so much easier to hide from cops there than on the street. I would turn on to Boone Road (for the half block), then cut through the neighborhood to get to his house. It was about a twenty minute walk. I also snuck out to other friends houses. Les's house was just the main one. He has always been one of my best-friends. He has always just been cool to hang out with. (I was a bad kid, a rebel.)

Watch Video:

HALO (Depeche Mode)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

from my a friend's blog

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and PRESTO! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your significant other about the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Premature (Early) Ventricular Contractions

Definition
Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) are early or extra heartbeats that commonly occur and are usually harmless in normal hearts, but can cause problems in hearts with pre-existing disease.
Description
Abnormally fast heart rates are classified into two types: supraventricular (meaning "above the ventricle") tachycardias, those that arise in the atria (plural of atrium) or the atrioventricular node, and ventricular tachycardias. In both instances, an extra or early beat may trigger the rapid rhythms. Although the sinus node develops as the specialized site of impulse production, all cardiac muscle cells retain the capacity to become pacemaker cells. Normally, the pacemaking activity of the sinus mode suppresses impulse production by other cells, but if conductance to some other part of the heart muscle is blocked, or if the heart is over stimulated, islands of cells may express their latent impulse-production ability, resulting in extra beats. In other words, impulses are fired from one or more locations in addition to the normal pacemaker, the sinus node. Extra or early beats arising in the atria are called premature atrial contractions (PACs), atrial premature beats, atrial ectopic beats, or atrial extrasystoles. Such extra beats often occur in normal hearts and are usually harmless. They can, however, cause palpitations, as well as trigger supraventricular tachycardias. Many of these episodes are not serious and can easily be treated.
Causes
PVC's can occur in healthy, normal hearts. They are also sometimes a sign of underlying cardiac disease such as coronary artery disease, cardiomyopathy (diseased muscle tissue), or other heart problems. PVCs can also be caused by abnormalities in body chemistry, drugs or thyroid disease.
Symptoms
A person with PVCs may or may not sense the irregular beat, usually as a skipped beat.
Diagnosis
Continuous electrocardiographic monitoring, especially during exercise, may reveal more frequent and complex PVCs than occur during a single routine electrocardiogram (EKG). This involves wearing a heart monitor for a period of time from several days to a few weeks while performing normal work or home activities. If episodes occur, the monitor records what has happened and can transmit electronically the information to be interpreted. If there are frequent PVCs, the physician may order tests to rule out thyroid disease (hyperthyroidism), abnormalities in blood chemistries (potassium and magnesium), as well as rule out heart disease.
Treatment
In general, if the patient is asymptomatic and has no associated cardiac disease, no therapy is indicated. If they are frequent or symptomatic, medication and other treatment will be recommended. Drug treatment is aimed at suppressing premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) in order to prevent serious ventricular arrhythmias and to reduce the risk of sudden death. Other developments include electrophysiology studies and treatment programs that combine drug therapy with surgery and antiarrhythmic devices, such as implantable defibrillators. Another option for treating life-threatening ventricular arrhythmias may be the automatic cardioverter-defibrillator (AICD). Unlike other types of treatment, this does not prevent arrhythmias but instead stops them within seconds.
Questions
What tests are used to monitor this condition? Are there any side effects or complications with these tests? What type of PVC is it? Is this case life-threatening? What are the signs and symptoms that indicate a possible heart attack? What medication will you be prescribing? What are the side effects? What are normal PACs (premature atrial contractions)? How many PACs become abnormal or dangerous? What affect might exercise have on the condition? Alcohol?

Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs)PVCs are early extra beats beginning in the lower chambers of the heart (ventricles). PVCs are common. Most of the time they cause no symptoms and require no treatment. In some people, PVCs can be related to stress, too much caffeine or nicotine, or exercise. But sometimes, PVCs can be caused by heart disease or electrolyte imbalance. People who have a lot of PVCs, and/or symptoms associated with them, should be evaluated by a heart doctor.

In Sickness and in Health

Research shows a hostile marriage can be harmful to a woman's heart—in more ways than one.

WEB EXCLUSIVE
By Barbara Kantrowitz and Pat Wingert
Newsweek
Updated: 11:59 a.m. ET Dec. 27, 2005
Dec. 27, 2005 - Whatever else went wrong in the world this year, no one can complain about a shortage of celebrity breakups. From Jennifer Aniston's split with Brad Pitt in January to Jessica Simpson's divorce from Nick Lachey in December, 2005 was awash in ruined romance. But hold the tears--at least for the ex-wives. Bad marriages might have been making them sick. Researchers say that say long-term anger and hostility between partners is much more dangerous for women than men and can impair our immune system and put us at risk for depression, high blood pressure and even heart disease.

In a study published in the current issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, Dr. Janice Kiecolt-Glaser and her colleagues at Ohio State University recruited 42 healthy couples who had been married an average of 12 years to spend two 24-hour stretches in a hospital research unit. On the first visit, the couples were encouraged to be loving and supportive of each other. On the second visit, they talked about their areas of conflict. On each visit, a special vacuum tube created blister wounds on their arms that were monitored for healing. The most antagonistic couples took an average of a day longer to heal. "Hostile marital interactions really enhance production of stress hormones, especially for women," Kiecolt-Glaser says. "And immune change is greater for women than for men."

What makes women so vulnerable to a husband's hostility? Kiecolt-Glaser, a professor of psychiatry and psychology, says women remember both positive and negative interactions more than men because they're generally more aware of the emotional content of a relationship. Women have larger and broader social networks than men, she says, and they're more sensitive to "adverse events" in their networks—a friend, a child, or a sister in trouble. That sensitivity is especially acute when it comes to their most intimate relationship, with their husband. A common laboratory strategy for studying marriage, Kiecolt-Glaser says, is to watch couples talk about a disagreement and then have each partner rate their own and their spouse's behavior. "Women's ratings of the behavior are much closer to the outside observer's codings of hostility than men's," she says. "Men simply don't see it."

Long-term unhappy marriages have serious health consequences. In another study published earlier this year in the Archives of Internal Medicine, researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and San Diego State University looked at data from more than 400 healthy women who were followed for 13 years before and after menopause. They found that marital dissatisfaction tripled a woman's chances of having metabolic syndrome, a group of heart-risk factors. Only widows were more likely to have metabolic syndrome than the unhappy wives; even divorced and single women had better health-risk profiles.

In other words, a bad relationship hurts a woman's heart in more ways than one. Unhappiness at home could even be fatal after a heart attack. A Swedish study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 2000 found that women with coronary heart disease had a greater risk of recurrence if they had severe stress in their marriages or live-in relationships. The researchers said that emotional strain and lack of support from a partner may mean that a woman is less likely to stick with heart healthy behavior and may not seek essential medical support. On the other hand, stress at work didn't appear to affect the health of the women who worked outside the home.

But before you kick your husband out, consider this: several studies have also shown that good marriages help keep women healthy. It's not just the absence of relationship stress (although that's certainly a factor). Women in happy marriages have strong social support, which generally encourages healthier behaviors. In fact, researchers have found that women in positive relationships actually benefit from spending more time with their partners.

What should you take away from all this? Kiecolt-Glaser says couples should learn to keep hostility in check. "When relationships are stressed," she says, "you see a 'tit for tat' kind of behavior where things really escalate. The most important thing is to cut that off early." All couples argue, she says, "[but] it's the quality of the disagreement that matters." She suggests that when you reach an impasse, you might say, "We really see this differently," rather than, "You idiot! How could you possibly think that?"

Kiecolt-Glaser's considerable expertise in this area no doubt benefits from the experience of her own happy marriage. She and her husband, Dr. Ronald Glaser, director of the Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research at Ohio State, have been together since 1978, both at home and in the lab. "He's a sweetie," she says. "I'm really, really fortunate. We disagree on some things, but it's a really good working partnership." And apparently, he's learned to value her judgment. When they were first dating, they sometimes socialized with a couple who were friends of his. "I couldn't stand to be around them because they were so abrasive with each other," she says. "He couldn't see it. Then they got divorced. He said, 'You were right.' And I said, 'Of course I was right'." A woman always knows.

© 2005 Newsweek, Inc.

names

for...





(Betsy...not Elisabeta)





















If your name is not on here, don't feel bad. Please note that my name is not on here either. They did not have it yet. I have made the request for my name and Elle's.

The Veteran

It is the VETERAN, not the preacher,

who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the VETERAN, not the reporter,

who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the VETERAN, not the poet,

who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer,

who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer,

who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the VETERAN, not the politician,

Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the VETERAN,

who salutes the Flag,

It is the veteran,

who serves under the Flag,

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD,

AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

I don't know if you saw this in the news but it really impressed me. Funny, our US Senate/House took 2 days off as they couldn't work because of the expected storm.

On the ABC evening news, it was reported tonight that, because of the dangers from Hurricane Isabelle approaching Washington, DC, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment.

They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!"

Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson.

The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.


I don't usually suggest that many emails be forwarded, but I'd be EXTREMELY proud if this one reached as many as possible.


For what ever reason, the pictures will not upload. I wish that they would. They add so much more to this.