dream dress

This is my dream dress...it is a half corset dress. A full corset dress goes to the ankle. A corset minidress ends just below the buttocks. I would be thin with a perfect hour-glass figure. I would need help to use the bathroom, though. Can we say "Betty Boop"...

Everyone needs a smile

ONLY IN AMERICA:

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. !

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Elisabeta's third birthday

My little baby girl will be three on Saturday. I can't believe how time flies. It seems just yesterday I was pregnant with her...then giving birth to her. Now she is so big and talking and she is so smart. I say that not just as her mom but as a former teacher. What is worse is that she knows she is smart. I love my baby girl so much. I have yet to wrap her gifts. She is always with me. I just need to get her away for an hour or so to wrap them. We are watching Little Women, right now. I have to drop off the deposit for the party site. I am so excited for her. She loves parties and having her friends around her. She choose her party theme (she has choose her own theme since she was 11 months old...all on her own) and once again she chose the Disney Princesses. She really only had three to chose from this year...Disney Princesses, Dora the Explorer, and Elmo. We went to Target for her party stuff. I have to call Mom back.

why condoms come in 3, 6, and 12 packs

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,"What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack!

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....etc."

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Free Glitter Graphics

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Free Glitter Graphics

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Free Glitter Graphics

blondes vs. brunettes

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes chartered a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, "What the heck is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered......."YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER."

pirate

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said: "Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" asked the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannonball, but I'm fine now".

"OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword f!ight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit."

"It was my first day with the hook.

the procession

wedding procession

wedding procession

Happy Natalie Hawkins

wedding

These are just a few from the wedding...Kelly has ALOT more...

Wedding too

Last blog as a single woman...

In six hours I head out to the Texas Renaissance Festival Campgrounds. I have to mark off the area (somehow) for the reception and everyone camping. The next time I blog on here I will be Mrs. Kelly Hawkins...well Mrs. Natalie Hawkins. I can't sleep. I keep thinking of everything that that needs to be done and just can't sleep. Everyone keeps telling me that this is normal. I am going to go attempt to sleep again. This is also the last time that Kelly and I will sleep in the same place before we are married. I met his Uncle Ron and Aunt Judi today. I like them. They are cool. Sandi and Mike took Elle until Saturday, so I can get everything ready. I have been looking at chainmail.com for three hours, just remembering all of the good old days. I am amazed at how many of my friends have had babies and do not look like it at all. I miss Dawn...I wish that she and Noah (who I miss too) would move back down here. I miss Erica...she was so young when she was taken from this world. I miss Tessa...she is just so straight-forward. I miss Ted, too. He was always a good friend...no matter how badly our attempts at a relationship failed. He still is a good friend. Elle has his picture up in her room. I am glad that she does, he is her father. I miss Paul, Red Dragon. I miss alot of my friends.
In two days I am getting married to the most wonderful man in the world. Right now, I am going to go to bed and try to get a few hours sleep.

I never notice things...

This is picture from last weekend. I have no idea why I have that look on my face. The funny thing about this picture, is it made me realize that I have a larger chest. See my best-friend is very large chested, so I always thought I was not. Sorry, this is not a rant or being upset (at all). I just can't believe that I never really noticed.