A much needed talk

After Kelly's and my blogs were posted yesterday, we talked. We needed to talk. Well I am still having problems with actually talking, because of my surgery. I would kill to be able to actually eat food right now. You can only drink so many meals before wanting to kill something. Anyways, Kelly and I need to talk more about everything...as it happens. We have a bad habit of waiting until things are bad to talk. I also have the problem of thinking that he will either read my mind (the rest of my family does) or he will just figure things out. Can you see how this will cause problems? He has the problem of not being able to talk about anything, except computer stuff and adult cartoons (ie. Futurerama...how ever you spell it). I am hurting really bad again. I need to lay down. I thank god and goddess that I have my own (our own) bed to lay down in. When I was homeless (with Elle) and was living in the churchs, I got really sick. In the program you still have to leave the church in the morning and go to the daycenter or someplace other than the church. It was hard to do, when you are very sick and have to throw-up anytime you move. There was also 11 days that I had a migrane, that only got worse as days went on, while I was in the program. I finally had to go to the hospital because I could see anything but a big blur and could not eat, from the pain. Don't misunderstand me, I am grateful that I was able to be in the program so I could get back on my feet. Without the help from Interfaith I would not have been able to care for Elle or myself, during that time. I also would not have been able to get back on my feet. However, it is very hard to to go through any time period of homelessness. It was hard to have to live completely by someone else's rules. It was hard not having a home to go to at the end of a long day. It was hard not having a home to lay in bed and be sick. When you are in the program, you have to keep your child(ren) with you at all times and watch over them. I know this doesn't sound hard or unreasonable, but you have to realize that this not like normal watching over. You have take them to the bathroom with. If you have a horrible headache you still have to watch their every move, when you need rest. You have no privacy, because they are always right there. I am still having problems with making Elle understand that she really doesn't need to be in the bathroom with Mommy. Every time I walk into the bathroom she follows me in and sits on the floor until I am done. Oh well.