The Dillard's Thief

THE DILLARD'S THIEF In San Antonio, Texas


Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit---no flies, no smell.
What business could that poor kitty have had here?" murmured Ellen. "Come on, Ellen, let's just go..." But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll take the tissue." She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Dillard's bag and cover it.
They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell.
They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to Luby's Cafeteria.

After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window table, they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag still on the trunk.
BUT not for long!!!!! As they ate, the y noticed a black-haired woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car, look quickly this way and that, and then hook the Dillard's bag without breaking stride.
She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond.
"Can you imagine?" finally sputtered Ellen.
"The nerve of that woman!" Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the red-gingham thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized with a shock the black-haired woman with the Dillard's bag, THE Dillard's bag, hanging from her arm, brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.


Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After clearing the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.
After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure.
Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, s he pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise.
The noise grew.
The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest.
The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived.
In a matter of minutes the black-haired woman emerged from the crowd, still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney.
Two well-trained volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings.

The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she disappeared behind the ambulance doors, the Dillard's bag perched on her stomach.

My mom always taught me if it doesn't belong to you don't touch it, guess she didn't have a wise mom like I do.

God DOES punish those who do bad things!

ARE YOU LAUGHING????



Comments: This classic urban legend, known to folklorists as "The Dead Cat in the Package," refuses to die a quiet death even though it's at least a century old, as San Francisco's venerated newspaper columnist Herb Caen observed in 1963:

The Story of the Dead Cat: a woman, for reasons unexplained, places her dead cat in a shoebox and, on the way to bury it, stops in a downtown department store. (Why?) As she is shopping, she places the box on a counter, and it disappears. A few minutes later, the store detective finds a lady shoplifter passed out in the powder room, the open shoebox on her lap. I first printed that in 1938 — it was hoary then — and it reappears in somebody's column at least once a year, as gospel.

The email version above, noteworthy for its down-home details like topping off a day of shopping at Dillard's with lunch at Luby's Cafeteria, has been circulating on the Internet since 1998.

shooting on Kelly's bus (he was already at work)

The suspect in today's fatal shooting on a Metro bus had bags placed over his hands so that they could be tested later for possible gunpowder residue.



March 28, 2007

A man was shot to death today on a Metropolitan Transit Authority bus in west Houston after he apparently got into an argument with a man he may have touched or bumped while trying to get off the bus.

The alleged gunman was in custody and a passenger was taken to a hospital complaining of chest pains after the incident, which occurred about 11:30 a.m. on the 82 Westheimer route on Westheimer between Wilcrest and Kirkwood, said Metro spokeswoman Rosio Torres.

The victim appeared to be in his late 20s or early 30s, according to Houston Police Department Capt. Dwayne Ready. When HPD arrived, the paramedics were already on the bus and had the suspect's gun. The alleged shooter was "sitting in the back of the bus with his hands raised and was very compliant, '' he said. "He was then taken into custody without further incident.''

Ready said the shooting may have occurred after the victim was walking down the aisle and either touched or bumped the suspect, who was already seated. The two exchanged angry words before the suspect allegedly pulled out a gun and shot the victim.

The victim then staggered to the front of the bus before he collapsed. More than an hour later, his body was still visible hanging feet first out of the bus door.

Authorities estimate some 30 people were on the bus. "This is a rare occurrence,'' said Metro Police Chief Tom Lambert. He noted that Metro carries 330,000 passengers daily on 1,300 buses.

Homicide detectives arrived at the scene shortly after 1:30 p.m. Some witnesses were taken in a separate bus to give statements to police.

No names had yet been released.
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Houston Police Department Crime Scene Unit officers lift a suspect's hat to photograph him after a shooting that left a man dead on a Metro bus Wednesday.




March 29, 2007

A 24-year-old man has been charged in Wednesday's fatal shooting of a man aboard a Metro bus in west Houston.

Garrett William Mallot has been charged with murder in the shooting death of Otis James Francis, 31, in the 11700 block of Westheimer.

Mallot is accused of shooting after Francis bumped into him while exiting the bus, police said.

The victim and suspect apparently argued, and the suspect, who had a license to carry a concealed handgun, shot the other man in front of about 30 passengers at about 11:30 a.m., police said.

Car accident (what really happened)

Kelly, Elle, & I were in our car (on the east side of highway 6) on Westheimer, heading west. The
traffic (as always at the time of day) was bumper to bumper. I saw a blue car (I believe it was a ford Taurus) waiting to turn into the Academy parking lot and knew that if I pulled forward I
would block his way into the parking lot. The car in the lane next to me, also left room for him to pass. The two SUV's in the third lane were blocking his way. (The first SUV was white with a male driver and the second was black with a female driver.) (Every thing from here happened within a minutes time...from 18:16 to 18:17.) I saw the light at highway 6 turn green and the cars in front of me pulled up so I pulled forward, as did the white Honda Civic behind me. Right after we pulled forward, I noticed in my rear view mirror the blue car pull out across our side of Westheimer. Then turned my head to the right and noticed a man, with white hair, in a dark green Jeep Cherokee smiling at Elle. That's when I heard the crash and watched in horror as the jeep started to raise up and towards us...but my eyes were still on the man mostly. I saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten and the muscles in his arms flex hard while his jeep lifted. Then I saw a flash of darker red and tires. (Somehow I had moved the car over up against the median, never coming close to the car in front of me.) Then it was silent (it seemed long but was only about a second, maybe two.) I put the car park picked up my phone and dialed 911. (I kept trying to tell the woman where we were at, but that wasn't going so well. Thankfully, about ten or people called at the same time so someone got through with the information quickly.)

I don't remember getting out of the car, but I must have right after picking up the phone. The flash of dark red I saw was a Dodge Durango. There was a woman and her son in it. The son they could out quickly. The mother was pinned by the roof collapsed against her head, her seat beat would not unlatch, and the dash board and steering wheel pinned against her legs and waist. The Jeep Cherokee lifted up because of a small black car being pushed under it. (The small black older car was so badly beaten that you couldn't tell what kind of car it was. It looked like it may have be an older Toyota or Honda.) The Black car had a Woman driving it with a baby, toddler, and husband in it. When I looked over, to realize that there was a car under the Cherokee, someone was taking the baby out of the hands of the father. Then they removed the toddler. At the same time they were removing the boy from the Durango. (The lady in the car in front of me had also gotten out and was translating for the woman in the Durango.) It was at this time that the gentleman from the Cherokee pointed out that we needed to move our cars, since it was the only lane that was drivable. I got in my car, and the lady hopped in her car. She pulled in the far right lane, in front of the accident. I pulled into the Academy parking lot. Everyone else started pulling forward and away. I got out of the car and ran back over. (Kelly and Elle stayed at the car.) While running back over I noticed the fifth car in the accident. It was a light blue SUV. I think it was a Toyota Highlander by the shape and color of it. I found out that the accident happened in the following order...the blue Taurus seeing an opening started across Westheimer (kind of gunning it) from the eastbound turn lane... (...the black car was waiting in the parking lot to turn [west] onto Westheimer, the red Durango was in the far right westbound [right turn only] lane, the blue Highlander was in the third westbound lane, the green Cherokee was in the second westbound lane, while I was in the first [or far left] westbound lane...) the Durango (not seeing the blue car) moved forward towards highway six...the black car seeing what is happening tries to move out of the way...the blue Taurus hits the red Durango in the side...the Durango starts to spin into the back of the litlle black car...the little black gets shoved in under the Cherokee and hits the blue Highlander in the back...the Durango bounces off of the black car and then flips over the front end also hitting the back of the Highlander.
By some miracle everyone was alive. None of the five vehicles could really drive away. That I could see...not one airbag had deployed. The entire front of the black car was lodged under the Cherokee, even part of the windshield and dash. How all of the people inside were able to get out and walk away is amazing. The tow trucks had to peel off the Cherokee from the black car, seriously. I remember standing there looking at the crumpled upside down Durango and just staring at a watch and some other things scattered around and under it...thinking that they were just out running errands and now here they were in a major accident fearing for their lives.

















The lady from the car in front of us...remember she translated for the woman in the Durango...told how they found the boy (immediately) after the accident. She said that he was screaming, "Get me out of here! Please God, get me out of here!" The whole time he was clutching a plastic wrapped tablecloth (they had just bought) to his chest, thinking it was his notebook. She also told me about how she had called his Godmother and that it seemed like the woman and her son had no other family here. Shortly after we talked she left for the hospital that they took the lady and her son to. She didn't want them to be alone. I believe the were taken to Memorial Hermann Memorial City Hospital. The family from the little black car were taken to West Houston Medical Center. I don't know if anyone else went to the hospital. The husband, from the black car, kept holding the baby. It took some convincing to put the baby back in his infant carrier...which by this point had been removed by an EMT. I forgot about that...two of the bystanders of the accident were EMT's, so they immediately started helping. There was also a Sheriff's Deputy (in uniform) that helped until HPD arrived.

If I forgot anything else, I will add it later. Right now I have a really bad headache. I keep thinking that after seeing the way everything happened...that the Jeep Cherokee should have been pushed into our car. I am so thankful that it didn't, and thank our guardian angels for watching over us. Somehow, I know that my Daddy and Floyd were there with us. When I told Julie about everything, she pointed out that I saw the man looking over at Elle right before the accident and that sometimes we have super human strength when we need it, especially at times like that...and that maybe he was thinking of her while holding his car in place. I kind of thought that too, right after the accident...I still do...but I believe that he had help. The black car hit him with so much force that half of the car was under his Cherokee. Something I just realized...both women and all of the children were rushed to the hospital...not one of the men went, except as support. That's not saying that the men shouldn't have gone, I think they should have.
After we left, I could not drive back down that way...I just couldn't.

Updating the Humvee

Updating the Humvee
David Axe | March 19, 2007
The AM General High-Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle, or Humvee, has been the workhorse tactical vehicle for U.S. forces since the mid 1980s. There are no fewer than 140,000 examples in more than 15 versions in service with all military branches. The Humvee has been praised for its versatility and ruggedness, but operations in Iraq and Afghanistan have revealed serious shortcomings, including inadequate power generation, limited seating capacity and -- most notably -- the design's vulnerability to roadside bombs.

Building on limited deployments of specialized blast-proof vehicles for engineers and bomb disposal teams, the Army and Marines are co-sponsoring programs to buy potentially thousands of so-called Mine-Resistant Ambush-Protected trucks, worth as much as $1 billion, followed by 100,000 or more Joint Light Tactical Vehicles for tens of billions more. The two programs will eventually replace all Humvees with tougher, roomier designs.

But that will take decades, especially as Pentagon officials attempt to reign in costs. Acquisition logistics czar Kenneth Krieg said in early March that he was considering moving MRAP out of the military's fast-but-loose "rapid-fielding" process due to the anticipated scale and cost of the vehicle purchase, which he said demand careful oversight.

To keep Humvees up to speed while the military awaits replacements, BAE Systems is proposing a range of high-tech modifications, according to program manager Steve Cortese.

At the Association of the United States Army winter symposium in Fort Lauderdale on March 7-9, BAE showed off a demonstrator with the full range of upgrades, including: a new multi-band antenna that replaces a complex jumble of antennae on existing Humvees; a rear-mounted infrared camera for checking blind spots; pop-out windows for quick escape in emergencies; and a new power management system. Many of these improvements are derived from BAE's work on the Future Combat Systems family of vehicles, slated to make their debut around 2010.

The Advanced Power Management System represents perhaps the most important change. This system, ported from FCS, provides the extra electrical power that the vehicle needs in order to support radio jammers that defeat Improvised Explosive Devices. APMS also has an export function, allowing an equipped Humvee to function as a sort of mobile generator - a capability usually seen on hybrid diesel-electric vehicles. APMS turns a standard Humvee into a "poor man's hybrid," Cortese says.

The mods are all based on feedback from Iraq and Afghanistan, Cortese adds. "We're trying to be sensitive to the needs of the warfighter."

Copyright 2006 David Axe. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Ronni & Nat at the Rodeo

We went to see Gretchen Wilson and had a blast. That is my new hat (I am wearing) in the picture.

photo album

My phone camera photoalbum

rodeo 2006

HLSR cook-off 2007

HLSR cook-off 2007

rodeo 2006 & HLSR cook-off 2007

St. Patty's Day 2006

St. Patty's Day 2006

St. Patty's Day 2006