AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH

May there always be work for your hands to do;



May your purse always hold a coin or two;



May the sun always shine on your windowpane;




May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;


May the hand of a friend always be near you;




May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.




Now.................Make A wish!!!!!!

Bean Counter

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Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel

Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel


"Dear Civilians", We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem, kick their ass.

(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest, kick their ass.

(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking. (Children are exempt.)

(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.

(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing y our hand over your heart. Quietly thank the militatry member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (C in C). The President (for those who didn't know) is our C in C regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your ass!

(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying "Let's go kill those Commies!" And stop asking us where he is? Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me, if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass.

(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.

(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its ass kicked."



"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press."

"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech."

"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate."

"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

Something to make you think...to really think about your life!

Sigmund Freud's Priorities

Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In which sequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!

2. The baby is crying!

3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!

4. You hanged the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!

5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!


In which sequence would you solve these problems? Write the sequence and check below how your decisions were made.



BUT BE HONEST, THE FINDINGS ARE EXCITING.


First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then scroll below and read after.




























































Answer:



Every individual point represents something in your life. On the list you can see which meaning every point has:


1. Telephone represents Work

2. Baby represents Family

3. Door represents Friends

4. Clothes represent Money

5. Tap represents Sex

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in?

You scored as SG-1 (Stargate). You are versatile and diverse in your thinking. You have an open mind to that which seems highly unlikely and accept it with a bit of humor. Now if only aliens would stop trying to take over your body. SG-1 (Stargate) 100% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 88% Serenity (Firefly) 81% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 81% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 81% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 81% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 75% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 75% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 75% Moya (Farscape) 75% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 50% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 44% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

A. A. A. D. D.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL, LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!


Which one is the penny? Can you figure it out?